33 Comments
User's avatar
jim boland's avatar

Those ARE armadillos we are talking bout

With a Mount Gay chaser

rick dextraze's avatar

Ya Know, the Armadillo is both delicious and comes in it's own container.

Ease of preparation...throw it in the microwave and just pop off the chest plate when ready.

Heck, you can even find em' on the side of the road, no baited hook or peeling off the fur necessary.

Bob Morris's avatar

And then throw out your microwave.

jim boland's avatar

Enough about gophers. What about those tasty possum on a half-shell. I had lots of em invading while I lived in Brandon just never got the right recipe!

Bob Morris's avatar

Place prepared possum on a cedar plank and roast over hot coals for two hours. Thow away possum and eat plank.

Cathy's avatar

Another funny column —nearly spit out my coffee at…I waited. Classic.

Bob Morris's avatar

That’s what I’m here for. To get spit takes from readers

Lizbet's avatar

Yes, you were kind of an asshole, but it was funny. You're forgiven.

Bob Morris's avatar

Whew, thanks, now I can sleep at night.

Byron Stout's avatar

I am trying to start a Florida trend. Eat more iguana. Nutritional breakdown compares very favorably to beef and chicken, and the taste is chickenish, as well. So far, not much luck. How's the gopher campaign going? (I'm sending this to you by email, with photos, to prove my sincerity).

Bob Morris's avatar

I’ve eaten a bunch of iguana, usually in stew, and you’re right, it ain’t bad. Here’s hoping for another hard freeze and we can just harvest them off the ground when they fall out of the trees.

Eric Estrin's avatar

Funny column. As a Southern Californian, I can attest to the gopher problem. My neighbor sometimes sits in his backyard, waiting with a BB gun for one to pop his head up. If you ever get Mr. Jeff’s number, pass it along.

Lizbet's avatar

In a have lemons, make lemonade vein - tell him to buy one of those big rubber hammers. He could charge people to come over and play real life whack-a-mole.

Bob Morris's avatar

I’d actually pay to see that

Bob Morris's avatar

Tell him to take up gopher fishing …

Camille Hiltz's avatar

It was hilarious. True LOL

Bob Morris's avatar

Maybe you can go gopher fishing in Colorado …

Camille Hiltz's avatar

Only Alvins here….

Ginny Justice's avatar

We ate guinea pig in Peru. I’m wondering if it tastes anything like gopher…

Bob Morris's avatar

Well, the only way to find out is to go fishing for one.

Michael Ludden's avatar

Can one eat chipmunks

We have lots

Bob Morris's avatar

Yes, but save Alvin for dessert.

Lizbet's avatar

If you eat Alvin, do you sing in a cartoon b voice for the rest of your life?

Timmy Sickle's avatar

Ok, Bob. I voted that you WERE in fact an asshole, but it has nothing to do with that text exchange which was truly hilarious. I am stunned that so many Floridians harbor California hate. They have higher taxes, more crowded roads, and no manatees. Pity should be the appropriate response. Of course we are the home of “Only in Florida Man.” So, maybe we should be neutral about Californians.

Bob Morris's avatar

I love California. Used to live in Santa Barbara. But I still enjoy messing with Californians.

Rich Feldman's avatar

The next text you get is going to be from PETA. Don't answer.

Bob Morris's avatar

PETA? You mean the nice folks from Please Eat The Animals?

Laura Armstrong's avatar

Why do you get the fun ones??

Bob Morris's avatar

'Cause I'm just a fun guy, I guess...

Tom Shroder's avatar

Hilarious column, Bob. The most amazing thing though is that ole Jo’ seemed legit. I thought every one of those “wrong number” texts was the intro to a scam.

Bob Morris's avatar

Tom, as far as I know, Josephina was not A.I. Unless it stands for "Awfully Impressionable."

Tom Shroder's avatar

Well after she talked to you she was Awfully Informed