ROTFLMFAO!! Great work, especially this..: But relics of their rich and vibrant culture can still be found in the remains of mysterious strip malls that dot the landscape and the daily convergence of cargo-shorts-wearing, golf-cart-driving retirees who bitch about the weather and aggressively defend their early-bird dinner reservations with all the intensity of their ice-block hurling forebears." I do have one question that I just have to ask, having two benign features removed, one from a left shoulder and the other from my forehead. Nose sanding????? ...what grit paper do they use for that? The carpenter in me sez ..you start out at about 60- 80 and then work your way back up to 220 to get that smooth polished look ( LOOK MA!! no more black heads!)
Ya know,,I dont know whether you realize it or not,, you may a great advertising ploy right here at the end of your nose on your face.. belt sander huh? if you could remember the brand. you might be able to strike a deal for advertising.. "CHISLED by BLACK AND DECKER" would probably fit on either nostril or sell the right to B/D and the left to Craftsman. Either way you make out like a bandit,,,just saying
Ha, thanks for the plug, Stockton. I took Harry Crews’s short story writing class at UF. There were 14 sessions. He was shit-faced for several of them and well on his way for the others. Still, it was a great class.
ROTFLMFAO!! Great work, especially this..: But relics of their rich and vibrant culture can still be found in the remains of mysterious strip malls that dot the landscape and the daily convergence of cargo-shorts-wearing, golf-cart-driving retirees who bitch about the weather and aggressively defend their early-bird dinner reservations with all the intensity of their ice-block hurling forebears." I do have one question that I just have to ask, having two benign features removed, one from a left shoulder and the other from my forehead. Nose sanding????? ...what grit paper do they use for that? The carpenter in me sez ..you start out at about 60- 80 and then work your way back up to 220 to get that smooth polished look ( LOOK MA!! no more black heads!)
***
Don’t know the grade of the paper, but it was a belt-sander. Took it all the way down to the bone…
Ya know,,I dont know whether you realize it or not,, you may a great advertising ploy right here at the end of your nose on your face.. belt sander huh? if you could remember the brand. you might be able to strike a deal for advertising.. "CHISLED by BLACK AND DECKER" would probably fit on either nostril or sell the right to B/D and the left to Craftsman. Either way you make out like a bandit,,,just saying
Ouch, and amazed I haven't needed a similar treatment.
Give it time, my friend…
Thank god you wrote this.I was out for a walk and thought I was being approached by a huge Proboscis Monkey who was walking a dog.
Norman, if you like Hiassen, you should try Harry Crews, start with "All we need of Hell" and go from there. And of course anything written by Bob.
Ha, thanks for the plug, Stockton. I took Harry Crews’s short story writing class at UF. There were 14 sessions. He was shit-faced for several of them and well on his way for the others. Still, it was a great class.
Not to worry .... it's "just a scratch" !
KA-BOOM
At least he didn't say: "Bend over..."
Took me right back, (in a funny way) to Carl Hiassen's book, 'Skin Tight' and his unforgettable character Blondell Wayne Tatum, also known as Chemo.
Was he the guy with the weed whacker for an arm? Brilliant, achingly so...
That’s the guy!