Wanna Win $100,000?

Come up with a name for a new political party

Hello, hungry people

Last year about this time attorney John Morgan was tossing around the idea of running for governor of Florida and the Bob’s Diner Super PAC threw its considerable political weight behind him with an enthusiastic endorsement.

Despite this significant display of support, which surely would have swung the upcoming election, Morgan announced last month that he won’t be a candidate.

Instead, he wants to launch a new political party and is offering $100,000 to whomever comes up with the best name for it.

That’s a whole lot more than Thomas Jefferson and James Madison got paid when they created the Democratic-Republican Party in 1792 (yes, they used to be one party!) or when Andrew Jackson split off to form the Democratic Party in 1828 or when newspaper editor Horace Greeley popularized the name Republican Party in 1858.

But enough with the history.

The important date to know is June 2, 2026 (this Tuesday.) That’s when Morgan’s contest ends. Meaning, if you want a shot at the hundred grand, then you best jump on it. Here’s a link to the contest.

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For the record, while the Democratic and Republican parties are the only two political parties that are ballot-recognized throughout the U.S., there’s a slew of minor parties in individual states, with a couple of dozen here in Florida.

This would include the Men Going Their Own Way Party. I’d never heard of this outfit until I Googled “stupid names for political parties” and MGTOW was the top hit.

Its “platform” advocates “male independence, self-determination, and the total rejection of relationships with women.”

So, yeah, a real mainstream bunch.

The MGTOW is fielding a candidate for Congress in the November election. This would be Amr Metwally, of Jensen Beach, who is a total wingnut businessman. He is running against Rep. Randy Fine, of Melbourne Beach , who is also a total wingnut businessman. Fine might have the edge based on a record of having called a Brevard County School Board member a “whore” and threatening to pull funding for the Special Olympics because he wasn’t invited to its fundraiser at a Chick-Fil-A in Cocoa.

I’ll not waste our time here discussing these guys any further except to remind you — this is Florida.

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Have I entered John Morgan’s $100,000 contest?

Of course, I have. Am I gonna tell you what name I suggested? No, I am not.

Because the rules stipulate that, in the event of contestants submitting the same name, the money will be split between them and I want it all for myself, OK?

But I promise to spend it foolishly. Bob’s Diner will throw a party, a real party, not the political kind. All y’all will be invited. And if there’s any money left over, I will spend it on my grandchildren, all of whom have better sense than Amr Metwally and Randy Fine.

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In the meantime, let’s turn to Today’s Poll.

And in a Related Poll.

That’s all I’ve got. Except for the $100,000 that will soon be coming my way. Stay tuned for the official announcement.

Just in case that doesn’t happen, please consider becoming a paid subscriber to Bob’s Diner. I promise to spend that money foolishly, too.